from the high horses back...to the not-so-soft muddy ground.

So, last week, despite being ill, I was on a real high. About everything. I was feeling good about school, I had a gorgeous horse whom I adore to pieces, I was booking academically and yeah, great great times.

Then this week. I was exhausted from being ill, didn't really rest this weekend past, so started Monday by nearly missing the train. Yeahhhhh.

By today, out of 7 work experience letters I have posted to 7 different medical practices, 4 have been rejections. Not to worry, I shall write to some more and cross everything possible.

I messed up a Chemistry and Psychology test today. And I got 11/17 on my Biology test which I did on Monday. Plus a piece of Chemistry homework I thought I was good for, thought I understood, turns out I got literally 3 out of 20. So I now feel like basically, I suck. At life. But this didn't get me down too much - I picked myself up, dusted down and can start again.

Today, three big assed factors got me down, apart from what I just mentioned.

1. I got told two out of 5 of my ALIS grades. Like predicted statistical thingies. A in Biology. A in French. Oh feck. This is good/bad. Good I am expected to achieve this. Bad I am expected to achieve this. Scared me a bit.
2. Spoke to my tutor today (who I first thought was a dragon, but is actually rather lovely) and explained my abundance of extra curricular stuff that is taking up ample amounts of time. She suggested that I drop my paid work, as this had nothing regarding my career involved, just an extra £25 in the pig for spendies.
3. I fell off my horse. Didn't hurt PHYSICALLY (Well, my ass did and does a bit) My ego, confidence and general 'fight' is just gone, shattered and broken. And, to see his retreating ass as he galloped home just summarised my life right now. That if I don't run to catch up with what I want, or catch it before it runs away, then I could easily lose.

So yeah. Summarized. From the highs of last week, to the lows of this week. And, I have to go to work tomorrow (which I'm not fussed on anyway, non-beneficial temporary stress) plus do letters plus this that and t'other.

And I don't feel like adding a picture, but... hey ho.

From my horse's back. Saturday.

Learn from your mistakes. Work harder. Manage time. Buy shoes. Don't ride horses. Keep it real.

Love always,

Jess.